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Beginner’s Guide to anal sex: how to get into it and what toys to use?

Beginner’s Guide to anal sex: how to get into it and what toys to use?

This article is intended for informational purposes only and for an audience of 18 years and older. Obtain your partner’s consent before you introduce the following tips.

You’ve heard from a friend or a colleague, or even a co-worker, that anal sex is “special”. Anal sex stories spread from person to person, feeding people’s discussion and curiosity. Hence, numerous questions arise on that matter:

  • How should we perceive anal sex, and how do we get into the world of anal sex with our partner?
  • How does this usually happen, especially for beginners?
  • Why should we consider anal sex, and which sex toys and lubricants fit best with this type of activity?

We will answer these questions as best as possible, so sit back comfortably, tighten your buttocks, and let’s talk about anal sex.

Info Before Going into The Depths of This Matter!

Even though the celebrity Gwyneth Paltrow talks about anal sex openly on her blog, it stays quite a sensitive topic. (Yes, it is still taboo.) In fact, before jumping into the subject, we must understand that vaginal sex and anal sex aren’t quite the same.

Despite some similarities, anal sex is quite another story.  First, there is no natural lubricant produced by the anus. Moreover, the affected area is not necessarily clean and the experience can be painful, or at least, uncomfortable if not performed properly.

Now that you have a better understanding of the matter, we can answer the questions we mentioned earlier. I hope you enjoy reading it!




Anal Sex: A Communication and Reciprocity Matter

As you can see in the previous paragraph of the article, anal sex is a delicate practice. Not only is the use of lubricant a must, but we ought to say that the anus is primarily meant to evacuate waste, not having sex. Moreover, if you want to try anal sex, it is very I-M-P-O-R-T-A-N-T to talk to your partner first. It seems quite obvious, but I will never repeat it often enough, because the consent of both parties are mandatory in order to avoid any unpleasant surprises.

Without any doubt, no one likes to have his anus invaded by an object or a penis when he least expected it. That’s why having a discussion with your darling first is so important. In other words, there is no such thing as “in the heat of the moment” when it comes to anal sex. Preparation is key.

Here are some communication and reciprocity tips for beginners:

  • Make sure your partner is comfortable with the idea, because stress would only make things worse. Your partner must stay calm and relaxed. A small session of massage and kisses on their lower body are always winning alternatives!
  • Before doing the same treatment to the anus, make sure that everything is under control and hassle free. In fact, you can enlarge this hole by inserting a finger in it. (Do not start with the thumb.) To do this, apply lubricant on the finger, and slide it in slowly. Do not forget to inform your sweetheart first, although it may seem rather trivial. Communication is key!
  • As things get along and the way to anal sex opens up to you, continue to stimulate the erogenous zones of your partner. And yes, feed the pleasure with pleasure. By sexually stimulating your partner, it would certainly facilitate the anal penetration.
  • When everything is set, and you have informed your partner about your intention to introduce your penis or a toy in their anus, it’s time to get the lube out. Insertion should be done slowly and you should always listen to your partner. There are many nerve endings in the perianal region so don’t be surprised if your partner enjoys it more than expected!

WHAT TO KNOW before jumping in:

  1. Warning! If you perform anal sex with a woman with your penis, one of your fingers or a sex toy, do not insert it in her vagina afterwards. Anal bacteria may cause nasty vaginal infection. To lower the risk of transferring bowel germs to the vagina, wear a condom, and change it every time you switch from anal sex to vaginal sex.


  1. Sex toys also find their place in anal sex, you will see how later. In fact, you will see that such tools could enhance your partner’s sexual pleasure, and of course, yours too.


  1. It is highly recommended to urinate after sex to flush out the bacteria from the tip of your penis after sexual intercourse whether you had anal or vaginal sex. Caution is required!

Why anal sex is worth trying?

An article in The Huffington Post claims that more than 44% of men and more than 36% of women practise anal sex, according to a survey among Americans from 15 to 44 years old.[1]

Anal sex is perfect for everyone who is seeking for new sensations or experiences in bed.

As mentioned earlier, it is interesting to specify that there are many nerve endings in the perianal region, to the point that its sensitivity is comparable to that of the vagina or even the penis.[2] In fact, anatomically speaking, the rectal wall is located near the clitoris and the G-spot for women and near the prostate for men, which are sensitive and erogenous body parts. In other words, if you go “back door” on your partner, it will not be surprising that they actually like it.  

What Sex Toys and Lubricants to Use During Anal Sex?

The dildo! Yes, it is the sex toy that often comes to mind when we think about sex. In fact, as it has already been explained in previous articles (which I strongly encourage you to read, for your information and enjoyment), sex toys are actually tools that can make sex life much more interesting. Obviously, we must not lose sight of the fact that we are talking about anal sex, that’s why the use of lubricant is essential, if not your lifesaver. It is definitely the best match, otherwise, we may call it the key to the success of a pleasant anal sex session. When we talk about sex toys for anal sex, you would probably think about the two most popular ones.

Firstly, there is, of course, the plug or anal plug, also known as the butt plug. This little gadget is practical, best at stimulating your partner’s anus. In fact, as the name suggests, it is meant to be inserted into the anus. Doing so also excites many men and women, more than we think actually. Some are longer, others are shorter, it really depends on how deep you want it to go in order to stimulate your partner. Make sure to clean the butt plug before and after each use though, in order to avoid cross-contamination. Butt plugs in glass or silicone are the preferred choice in terms of both, efficiency and hygiene, as they are made of easy to maintain materials.

Secondly, there is, of course, the dildo, in all its forms. Contrary to popular belief, the dildo does not always look like a penis; it can come in the shape of a grip to fit more easily into the anus. And men, if you are worried about having anal sex, the dildo is an alternative to anal sex without penetration of the penis. No fecal matter on your penis, lower risk of cross-contamination, but above all, it is certainly less tiring than moving your hips back-and-forth to pleasure your sweetheart, although you may not enjoy it as much as she does. What would we do without a dildo?

Finally, when you use sex toys for anal sex purpose, the use of a lubricant is unquestionable, if we do not want to literally hurt your butt. There are three types of lubricants: oil, water, and silicone-based lubricants. The one I recommend is the silicone-based lubricant. Unlike the water-based one, it is thicker and does not dry quickly. And unlike the oil-based one, it doesn’t damage the latex condom. In other words, to have safe and pleasurable anal sex, opt for a silicone-based lubricant. Anal sex toys are a great way to explore anal play.

Now that you have mastered the art of anal sex, do not forget that like in any sexual relationship, especially anal one, communication and, of course, pleasure are what matter most.





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